Feels like Yesterday
by iDEALITYjUnctioN
Summary: Because we had some good times, But they don't last forever We seemed to grow apart, It never got much better Oh it's good to see your face, But I know things won't change Though you seem so far away Feels like yesterday -Zac Barnett (Note: Moved from Waiting on a Train)


Feels like Yesterday.

The diner was hot, sticky and hot. It buzzed with the sounds of voices and hushed music through crackled speakers, the smell of grease and frying meat mingling in with the evening crowd. The booths were curved, like they had always been, cheap salmon and mint green in the most cliched way they were hard plastic and shiny, it soiled your suit with sweat and you tugged at your collar.

He sat across from you, plucking at the strings of his old jacket and looking anywhere but at you. All too familiar eyes straining to lose yours, all to familiar scowl raw and cold with the hot evening and awkwardness that gripped this silence. All to strange, was this silence.

"Have you decided what your gonna order..?"

I looked up, he didn't. Staring down at the cheesy menu decorated with awful pictures of girls in poodle skirts and greasers striking an Elvis pose, hair slicked back too high.

"Karkat..."

"The cheese burger looks shitty but then again so does everything else-"

"Karkat!"

He sighed finally looking up at you "Did you hear what I said?"

He nodded, placing the menu down on the table and crossing his arms "Yeah." He said "I did."

"So, what do you think?"

He shrugged eyes narrowing "What do I think?" He scowled, glancing out the window about ready to jump through it. "I haven't seen you for three years and you call me out just for this? Dammit, Sollux! What do you want from me?"

"I want you to be honest, you're my best friend!"

"I _was_ your best friend..." He countered, slamming his hands onto the table eyes alight despite how quiet his voice was "I was your best friend until..."

"You know I'm not gay, Karkat..."

"Shut up!" He scowled "Don't talk like you've got everything figured out, like you're some high and mighty prince. Fuck!" He shoved his hands on his face rubbing roughly "I hate that side of you..."

"I'm sorry I'm not a fag!" You snap back, feeling the foreign word slip out without your consent "I'm sorry I can't change, I'm getting married and I thought you would be a little happier for me!"

"Happy? _Happy?!" _He growls through gritted teeth "What part of this makes me happy? Please explain to me Sollux because I'm at a loss."

"Mary is nice once you get to know her..." You try to reason, you felt like you were suffocating in this place. Everything you knew floating down the drain, drowning you in a world of misconceptions. Misinterpretations of your best friend.

Karkat stares at you like you shot him "What the hell is with you?" He demands "You're going to spend the rest of your life with someone you can only describe as 'nice'!"

Maybe you really didn't know him, maybe you didn't want to. Maybe you were done dealing with hard things like him and was starting a new page, ripping out the old. Easy and normal, easy and normal.

"We're moving to a house in the Florida suburbs a few months from now, a nice place, it's good for kids..." You tell him, convincing yourself with each word that you want it. That you need it.

"Florida?!" He gapes at you "Suburbs? Kids?! Who the hell are you and what have you done with my best friend? What about India and Italy and all those places you said you were gonna go to after college?" He tries to reach out to you but you pull away "Where the hell is the adventure in Florida?!"

"Do you truly believe I don't think about it sometimes..?" You say, quietly dropping your head "What it would've been like if I stayed with you, or if I went to Italy and all the places we planned to go together... All the places we dreamed about." You don't look up at him "I do and once I realize how young we were I know that it could never happen and it will never happen-"

"How do you know!?" He shrieks, people turns their heads towards your table but he doesn't notice "How do you have any goddamned idea how it would've turned out?! You gave up! You took the easy way out and only looked for things you could reach, only dreamed of what you could see." He glared at you "You're a coward, a bloody coward and I hope you have a good life in your three story house with your fucking barbie doll wife and 3.5 kids because that's all you will gonna ever get. Ever!"

You stare around the diner, most people have turned too look at you. Staring like your putting on a show, and you are, you are standing out when all you want to do is fit in. You are turning heads when you want to be the one watching the weirdos of the world and tutting at them. You don't want to be one of them. You don't want to be Karkat.

"I'm sorry." You say standing "But I think I'll leave so you can cool your head. It was nice seeing you, Karkat, I hope we can see each other again and-"

"Get out..." He growls, looking in your eyes for the first time, his voice was dripping with anger but his eyes filled with sadness "I don't know you anymore..."

You stared back at him, losing the gazes of everyone else for a split second. You stared and realized that as soon as you turned away there was no going back, there was no way to get back what you had. There was no way to get back who you were, there was no way to get back the angry boy you had fallen so hard for you had hit your head getting back up from.

You turned, shoes squeaking on the fake tile floor, and walked away the sound of humming electric lights echoed in your ears for the last time.

Because we had some good times,

But they don't last forever

We seemed to grow apart,

It never got much better

Oh it's good to see your face,

But I know things won't change

Though you seem so far away

Feels like yesterday

Feels like Yesterday- Zac Barnett (American Authors)


End file.
